a potentially relevant anecdote that you'll probably find funny, and i'm almost certain i will tell my lit classes when i become a professor:


on st. patty's day, i (accidentally—long story) got drunk and two days ago discovered that that night i'd appended to a block of my cheese (in a communal fridge) that somebody had helped themselves to a note excoriating communists and other cheese-thieving malefactors. it was rather long-winded, and i have no memory of writing it, but i was amazed at the diversity of my vocabulary (the insults were almost shakespearean) and the perfect grammar, punctuation, and capitalisation throughout. i also demonstrated a startlingly thorough understanding of marx, hegel, and derrida.


i feel like that note legitimises my years of obsessive orthographical perfection.


the end.