You're probably familiar with the term "root", which means "have sex with" in the Australian vernacular. Thus I find the Canadian clothing brand Roots hilarious. What you need to do is pose an erotica novel with a Roots sign - perfect :-)

Have a lovely day! :-)

P.S. That is, if wherever you're going has Roots. Not in Australia, unfortunately. No Tim Horton's here, either. Crikey, we're deprived in Oz...