And the editor says...

[alanajoli]

From correspondence with my editor:

"I will look for the 'eyes' issue. I have trained myself to be on the lookout for that sort of thing: a writer I worked with once called it 'the echo.' All writers do it, and often it is not noticeable to the reader, but sometimes it gets a little distracting. I did call you out on it in my first read of what I have so far."

Figures that Shawn would catch it before I noticed it myself. (Of course, he is amazing and awesome, so I shouldn't be surprised!)

Also, props to slwhitman for not letting me off easy in her response to my post. From everything I've heard, she, too, is an amazing and awesome editor--and I appreciate the free advice!

Comments

[slwhitman.livejournal.com]

Heh. Just helping the world, one word at a time. :D I didn't mean to be hard on you--I was trying to be more neutral, as in, *if* you've found this to be a repetitive device you rely on, now that you recognize it you can vary it.

I still haven't gotten to reading Into the Reach yet--you know how it is, trying to balance all the reading I have to do--so I don't know from your writing whether it's overused or not. Just that it's a general trend I see that sometimes writers can rely heavily on a particular phrase or device so much it starts to stand out.

I think the easiest example of that is Robert Jordan and breasts. And tugging braids. And eyes flashing. And women snorting. After 4 or 5 books of that (I made halfway through 10 before giving up on him, but that's another story), I started looking at the people around me wondering just how often a person might snort or pull a braid when they're angry.

[alanajoli.livejournal.com]

Ha! Jordan really does do that! I don't mind distinctive "tugging braids" as an expression if there's only one character who does it. Like Phoebe from Friends chewing on her hair--it's a unique expression to the character, and if it's overused, you can bet it's annoying the rest of the characters in the story as well.

I didn't think you were too hard on me, by the way--you simply hit my logic where it was weakest. Overall, I think that's a good thing.

The eyes thing seems to be worse in Regaining Home than the other two (though I didn't do the word count on the others; it might be just as bad). I'd be interested in hearing if you do notice it as you're reading (when you get to it).